How I overcame my struggle with my Self Esteem & Body Image

Body Image. We all have one, and all of us have an idea or thought on how we should perceive ourselves, and how we should look. Have you ever felt self conscious about yourself or wanted to change something about your body? You are not alone! So many women struggle with this, and I am one of them! There are so many things in today’s world that have a huge effect on people and their self image, particularly women. It starts at a young age, sure we have media, billboards, magazines, ads, heck even Barbie was considered “perfect” when I was growing up. We are told so many things that we should look like or have or be, and eventually we start believing we need those things or we will never be happy with our self image. There are so many people and things that influence our body image, however I want to talk about one thing that is my biggest critic that I never really use too think about, and that is MYSELF.

We are our biggest self critics and if we are constantly telling ourselves we need to look a certain way and then we will be happy, or we need this or that and then we can be happy with the way we look and feel, then guess what? You will start to believe that. I struggled for so long with my attitude towards my self image. This is something I haven’t really told very many people, but it’s true. When Middle School started, so did puberty. My body started changing and so did my self confidence. I continued to have negative feelings towards my self image, and would alway say to myself “ If I was a few inches shorter, or just a little fuller then I would be happy and love the way I look”. All the way through High School, and some of College I continued to think this way. I am 5’11” (6’ If you ask my Husband lol) In middle school I was taller than most of my friends, and taller than most of the boys too. I’m also thin, and remember girls whispering about how tall I was, or how thin I was, and I felt so self conscious about it. I would never wear heels to school, and always wore flats, or very short heels to dances. I always envied girls that could wear cute heels and cute jeans, all of the cute jeans were capris on me and that definitely was not in style at the time, and no way was I going to wear heels and be over 6’ tall when I was already taller than most of the school.

My friends and I would spend a lot of our free time after school going to the mall, and I would be scouted by Modeling Agencies quite often. I would quickly become embarrassed because it was in front of my friends, and I wasn’t very interested at the time. I didn’t have the best self image and I was also very shy. A few months later after talking with my Mom (My mom used to model and is always so supportive) I decided to go to an open casting call for NIYA Model Management, I ended up signing a 2 year contract with them and was so excited but also very nervous. I had finally found something I was really excited about and started to like my body and my height. I found that modeling was my escape and quickly became my passion. I started learning to love my self image and I started to discover my self esteem. I found thing that I liked about my body and started to gain confidence, something I never really had before. I started wearing heels confidently and not caring what others thought about me being even taller.

I am definitely not writing this because I think I am some perfect person, because I am not, and I still have my bad days just like everyone else, but I had to overcome myself, and I want others to know that they are not alone, and there are many of us who go through this, I know how you feel and I am here for you if you need me! When we’re constantly finding things we don’t like about ourselves, and telling ourselves we don’t like our bodies, or we’re not good enough, it becomes true. We need to break those bad habits and STOP. We are our biggest self critics. We have the biggest impact on ourselves, and we define who we are, we are responsible. We need to be kind to ourselves, especially on our bad days, we also need to respect ourselves, and most importantly love ourselves. A few months ago Bryston (My Husband) and I were walking out of a grocery store and I was wearing shoes with some sort of heel on them, and we overheard a lady scoffing in disbelief to her husband that I was already so tall and wearing heels too. A few years ago this would have really hurt my feelings and self esteem. However I am happy with who I am and I don't need anyone's approval, but my own, so I just smiled and kept on walking.

Remember how I said that those negative things we constantly tell ourselves become true?? Well the same goes for positive things. Every day when you find yourself saying something you don’t like about your body or your self, try telling your self 3 positive things you do like. Especially on the days you are having a harder time loving yourself, look for the things that you do love and embrace those things. Also we need to take care of ourselves, eating better, and exercising are both very important, because when you look your best you feel your best. When I eat better, I also notice I have more energy throughout the day. We need to listen to our bodies and be aware of what we are putting into them. Have you ever noticed how when you’re having a bad day, but you force yourself to get up and get ready, you feel much better? I know for a fact when I look my best, I feel my best. It’s amazing what a little self confidence can do. When you change your attitude, everything around you is more positive as well, you attract positivity.

Last of all. Your self confidence comes from YOU. Every body is beautiful! Do not let what the world perceives you as matter. It only matters how you perceive yourself. Being beautiful is all about your attitude and knowing that you are beautiful and that your imperfections are what make you YOU. Self image can be such a beautiful thing and should be celebrated. None of us are the same, and that is something we should be proud of. If you are reading this you are amazing and you are beautiful, never let anyone, especially yourself tell you otherwise. Thank you so much for reading. Love you all. XOXO